


Betty and Jimmy

by WarnerHedgehog



Series: A Showbiz Conspiracy. [5]
Category: 8 Out of 10 Cats RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarnerHedgehog/pseuds/WarnerHedgehog
Summary: Betty has a new work toy.After some faffing about, this is now 666 words long, something I am needlessly proud of.
Series: A Showbiz Conspiracy. [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/591106
Kudos: 2





	Betty and Jimmy

Betty looked up at the new vehicle that towered above her and smiled. This was possibly one of the best mechs she had ever clapped eyes on.  
Betty was a five inch tall imp from the Eighth level of Hell who used to be employed in the torture of notable tax avoiders. Her work there included stoking the fires and topping up the coals, taunting the damned with bottles of dehydrated water, keeping the gas pipes in good nick and poking the various quiz show hosts and politicians with very pointy sticks. This had all come to a crashing halt when Satan had discovered the wonder of television. The dark Lord had quickly realised that things in the land of eternal damnation could be done much more easily by simply subjecting the torturees to eternal repeats of just 3 episodes of Supermarket Sweep, 4 episodes of When Sideboards Attack and Made in Chelsea. This of course meant that employing imps to keep the hell fires burning was now a thing of the past, so Betty and many of her fellow mini-demons were made redundant and were forced to leave Hades and get proper jobs. Fortunately for the now jobless imps, Dundertainment UK, the British arm of an American TV company had need of a way to work their new notion, an artificial celeb that they could have full reign over. To give themselves total control over a television personality, the company had created the idea of a bipedal android that looked like a human but was entirely artificial. Various methods of operating the new fake thing were discussed, including radio control or trained mice. One executive was convinced that just having it as a giant marionette would work, and that the British public were too "idiot-sighted" (his words) to notice. All of these ideas were quickly thrown into the bin when Sir Grandly Fraudulence, Dundertainment UKs chief executive met Betty, who was working in his gentlemen's club, lying to patrons to boost their fragile egos. His immediate reaction was to call his secretary and set up a meeting between Betty and his management team. The plan was to create a walking, talking mechanical marvel which would be driven/piloted by Betty. By the end of the week, Betty had quit the gentlemens club and was fully on board and preparing to fly to Japan to see the people who would be designing and building the machine, techno giant Orokana. It was a full year of dedicated hard work, design and guesswork, but by mid 1998, the first synth celeb prototype was complete. On the 6th of June, the Mk1 was ready to walk: nervously, Betty sat inside the cranial cockpit and powered it up. It worked, but wasn't perfect: It walked and it could talk, but it was very jerky and according to the demon, "sodding uncomfortable".  
That was then.  
Today she looked up at what was literally the Rolls Royce of Synth-celebs. This had been built by Rolls Royce in collaboration with Orokana in a secret facility in an otherwise drab industrial estate near Piddlehinton, and she had to admit that it really looked the bee's knees. This was the Mk8 Jimmy Carr and it was the synth she had been dreaming of for years. The hair was now ultra realistic (unlike the Mk7's which looked like plastic) , the teeth were pearlescent-chrome and shone like a lighthouse at full beam, the horrendous laugh (which was originally weird because of an April fools prank by a bored programmer who liked seals), was now fully integrated along with a normal laugh for emergencies. The cockpit was decked out with leather and walnut and a state-of-the-art sound system. At the push of a button on the leg, Jimmy smoothly bent down and used his hand as a lift, carrying the pilot to the cranial hatch. No more being carried by studio staff from now on!  
Filming 8 Out of 10 Cats was going to be so much better.


End file.
